It's a fear that grips my heart and squeezes until I sob and sob, worrying and stressing over the hour, the second, the minute my heart will stop beating. I know that even though I am strong, my body is fragile. I can die in any moment. In the passing of a single second, I can seize to exist. My soul can leave my body and it will only be merely a shell. Emptied of every thought or feeling I ever felt in my life.

The car I'm riding in can hit another and my body can be sent through the windshield and flung across the pavement. My bones and muscles nothing more than the cloth that makes a rag doll. My head can smash into the concrete - tissue, brain, skin exploding onto the dirty street. I can swim in the ocean and the waves can pull my body down. As i sink in the water, struggling for my last breath, head pounding and vision blurry; looking at the light playing across the surface I'm desperate to reach. I can fall asleep in my bed, thinking about all the plans I have for tomorrow, thinking about what I will do in a week. I can fall asleep with a smile on my lips.